Chapter 22: Right Decision?
After Silvina finally awoke from her sleep she seemed in a bit of a trance and went outside in the moonlight to ponder quite a few things.
After a while Nayu decided to go out and check on her to find her in a tree looking at the moon.
"Whats on your mind Silvina, you haven't said a word, haven't eaten, I know something is up with you."
"Nayu, what if the choices we make never alter who we are meant to be?"
Nayu jumped into the tree with ease sitting next to her and looked at the moon with her as she replied.
"Choices make up who we are every day Silvina, and decisions can always either better or worsen our look, our personality, or even our very own fate, why do you ask?"
"Because, what Zen said, he took me back to where I was before all this happened and I know he's right..... about me then, but, me in the present day is different."
"What decision did he make you do?"
"Back then we had a mission, and on that mission there was a mother and child I... I slaughtered the mother and spared the child, only because I saw a bit of my eyes and realization in them from her and spared her for it... I wasn't sure why then but later I would be awakened to just why I saw myself in them."
"Then the question is, are you a better person now than you were then, or what did you want to do that was different about that situation than what Zen forced you to do than what was done this time around."
Silvina looked at her then thought.
"I..... I wanted to spare them both, only because I know what I was doing was wrong in my heart, I realize I have killed many mothers and what if all their children suffered like I did when my mothered died, or after all the children I suffered, and after I slaughtered world after world. What I wanted to do, was spare them both, but Zen..." Silvina said looking away holding her hand up looking at it her eyes slowly widening.
Nayu reached and put an arm around her.
"I didn't want to kill them both, but yet some part of me still enjoys slaughtering people."
"Deep inside us when we are raised to be this and that, yet there are built in instincts regardless how old we get, when we try to remove these set instincts chaos arises in the soul in ways we cannot realize thus causing us to do things we will later regret sometimes for all eternity, its learning to live with those basic instincts, learning what we can or cannot do with them, and knowing that they exist now and forever that makes us better people for that very purpose of serving a better cause, while you reject that part of you greatly you cannot deny that one instinct was yes pleased to the greatest of amounts, it is there, it will not die just cause you ask it to die. Its as much a part of you as being a warrior is to my family line. In the end you can either accept it and learn to live with it, or deny it and be troubled with the problems that truly arises with denying that one instinct its need to feed and thrive somewhere."
"so.... I ought to just enjoy it!?"
"Silvina, it is an instinct, built into you through genes and built in desires wanted by others, you are still you regardless of their existence, if you want to hate that part of you you may do so, however it won't eliminate it from being there, like yin and yang, good and evil, without the other the prior cannot exist, we need to learn to live with both sets in order to survive with those instincts better, just ignoring their existence does nothing to help you."
"So your saying, there is nothing I can do to change what happened, but if I want to, as long as I acknowledge there is something evil still in me I can choose to use it to my advantage perhaps?" She said looking to her.
"The paths we choose are ultimately our own, sometimes we learn a lot about others through understanding ourselves in the most deepest of ways, evil or good your path is your own, you came to us a long time ago wondering what it was like to be a good guy, now you know what it is like, now, you may have to face a challenge unlike any before another comes, like me and Annie there are worse dangers than the world can show us, they lie within us and show us more truth to what others see us as than what others are willing to even say, facing those truths and facts about yourself and overcoming it truly can make someone have the potential to understand things never before seen, but again, this is your own choice alone."
"Because, facing yourself is more dangerous and no one at all can help you in this challenge, you have nothing but your mere powers and skills to aid you and some people go completely mad when they find out the truth about who they truly are inside."
Silvina looked at Nayu then thought about their conversation last night and asked.
"Nayu I always wanted to ask something... If you had a choice to alter anything in your past, like say stop me from destroying Zen or something like that, would you do it?"
Nayu breathed in and out closing her eyes as the wind blew briefly through the air as she opened them in somberness before looking up at the moon as if hope arose then smiled warmly.
"I once wanted to, for a long time I questioned whether me and Annie were compatible and why we were here, I wanted to save my world, till, I slowly began to realize things had to go the way they did or I would never have found my true meaning in life, being there for Annie, without me, Annie would have never existed, sure I would be a hero and we would be locked in an endless time battle to save the planet, but I would never have the amazing adventures I'm having now, the knowledge nor the man of my dreams, frustration or anything, the life I'm living right now would never happen and I'd live the same boring life being feared of for all eternity, regardless whether or not I won, people would fear me and never see me the way they do now, I'd rather live an eternity where people loved me and I never won anything to deserve it, than win one thing and still have people perpetually afraid of me never knowing me for who I truly was inside."
Silvina thought a bit then asked Nayu.
"Do you think I should try that, facing myself?"
Nayu looked at her then put a hand over her head a bit scratching the back of it as she thought.
"I'm not sure, see facing yourself is something that happens when you least expect it and with us it happened when we really didn't want it to occur."
"So what about you? Have you done it?"
Nayu sighed and put her fingers onto her brow groaning.
"Not a good experience either."
"I have already said it Silvina, and back then Annie as well could not aid me in any form, but as you can see, I managed to succeed without losing any of my sanity, it is why I will always fear for every moment we have to face that demon hellbringer and Annie is alone with her."And with that got up and hopped off.
"Nayu, wait! How do I know if the decision I made was the right one still?"
"Regardless of all I've said, I don't have all the answers, because you are who you are." And walks off.
"Now if you don't mind, I'd like to continue not remembering this conversations regarding Annie's sanctity, the more they happen the more I have no choice but to consider what will come, if only my eyes were not blind to other places, maybe I could foresee with greater ease fates and destinies, but that would only make me a monster."
"Well now your speaking nonsense.... right?"
But as she spoke Nayu ran off.
Silvina then sat there and thought about all she said, the choices they both made this whole time, everything that led up to now, decisions and choices, not everything ran as smoothly as she or they had wanted it but the fact was they were here and she can choose now what to do next...
"Hey Silvina what is a monkey like you doing up in that tree?
"EEP!" Silvina jumped after being so deep into her thoughts leaped further into the tree hiding until her head popped out of it to realize its Bugsy.
"Uh, Bugsy hey, what are you doing here?"
"Oh just wondering if you wanted to be a saiyan again."
"I can do that easier by using the watch." She said pointing to it for the first time since the incident only to notice, it looked bizzarely strange.
"But that lasts a day don't it? And then you have to wait 3-5 days before you can use it again, but I have a way for you to be one ALL the time.
Silvina tilts her head and comes down to him.
"What is it?" She asks as he looks down on her and asks as he places his hand on her watch taking a sonic screwdriver to fix it.
"Well Toad may come by every now and then, but do you know what he really is? There you go, fixed good as new, and better now!"
"No, why change the topic? Wait... what you do?"
"Well, Toad was made, like Marsh was from Bugsy X, Toad was made from me, and is kindof an extension of me, I thought maybe it was time you knew about that little fact." He said taking out a ring for her not explaining what so ever what he did to the watch as Silvina looked at it then him then the ring.
"A... a ring?" She said curious about it as he made sure he caught her interest by showing it in front of her.
"This is no ordinary ring Silvina, this will change you back to being a saiyan making you able to endure the sunlight better, X has confirmed your now a full fledged vampire!" He said smiling as Silvina looked at him then said.
"X? Why didn't he tell me himself?" Scoffing at the fact AGAIN at X being mentioned, but only because she heard he said she's a full fledged Vampire Saiyan now.
"He's uh, going through some issues right now so he can't quite tell you himself." Bugsy said looking around nervously.
Silvina looked at the ring carefully and took it analyzing it.
"What is this made out of?"
"Well some DNA from you, some of your first experiment to changing back elements and equations though done about 69 percent more accurate and a bit of what X threw in."
"So what did I keep getting wrong about my equations when I started out then?"
"Well, thats a secret, mainly because I myself am not the best and had to borrow the equations from a reliable friend of mine."
Silvina thought about it then asked.
"And WHO is this reliable friend of yours that you asked to fix MY equations?"
"Don't worry too much about it Silvina, there is a reason you can't figure it out, but you were pretty close so be proud of it, not everyone of 300 IQ can do what you can do, after all Eggman keeps losing to a hedgehog and can't fathom why and you can actually postulize every single reason which makes you of the same if only Eggman didn't always bother staying in the same business."
"I take that with a heavy offense, when I was evil I took GREAT pride with being IQ-tomically smarter than that idiot who I'd rather never make a pun out of because he did keep trying to ask me to dance at every villain/villainess Con we went to, in which I replied(Flashback kicking Eggman in the balls, shooting him in the balls, nuking him in the balls, atomicly nuking him in the balls) In which he finally learned you, when it comes to getting the chick who is technically younger than him, please aim for someone around your age grampa, otherwise I'll find more ways to nueter you than all the things I mentioned and serve it on RobotnikClauses plate for dinner... Its a wonder that guy never ever came for revenge, maybe he does like Eggman winer.
"Well thank you for that interesting story Silvina, no wonder your such a devious little devil now.
, any chance you realize what mistakes you made when doing that equation though? ^~^"
Silvina looked down and realized then why she couldn't figure it out, she thought her equation was perfect and okay, yet every experiment... (remembers how some blew up, others melted, some just died) she couldn't.
"I can't... at all..."
"Look the thing is Silvina here is something you'll be able to use now to revert."
"You mean I now have a choice to turn back to being a saiyan now." She said thinking about it.
"Yeah, you'll see." Bugsy said as Silvina looked at him then the ring thinking then asked surprisingly to Bugsy looking back up to him giving something even Bugsy couldn't help but find cute.
"Will I be able to still be a Vampire Saiyan?"
Bugsy just smiled as he changed his form to a vampire saiyan surprising her.
"Well my dear~ Yes you will, when you remove the ring you'll revert right back to being a vampire! So be careful!
Silvina stared at him with jaw dropped as he changed back winking and turned walking off Silvna's tail twitching as he walked away.
Silvina getting so confused she had to stand there for two seconds before realizing her answer to the first saiyan vampire was walking away from her ran after him.
"HEY WAIT! WAIT! YOU DON'T MAKE ANY SENSE NOW! WHAT ARE YOU BUGSY!!! WHAT ARE YOU!!!" Bugsy stopped making her run into him literally face first.
"I'm something you nor anyone will never figure out, but to put it simply..... I'm chaos!" He said turning around as Silvina pouted more.
"THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE!" She said to him.
Bugsy then picked her up and that stopped her as her tail coils under her.
"Yep, no wonder your so adorable."
That snapped Silvina out of her trance.
"I AM NOT CUTE! How can you take that form!?"
Bugsy winked at her and took the ring putting it on her finger making her feel strange as her wings and fangs retracted and realizing this her hair poofed looking at Bugsy as he turned her around to make sure her wings were gone and she was okay rubbing the bones a bit to make sure they were completely retracted and gone, that no trace of Vampirism was visible.
"Silvina you okay?" He said turning her around to face him, still with poofed hair looking a little more monkey-like than usual despite the fact she was now a saiyan.
"This feels more akward then I remember." She said raising her hands to her face and lifting them to feel herself as Bugsy put her down.
Silvina spun around her tail feeling her back for her for the wings she had now all but became accustomed to, she even tried floating now without her wings with her powers, she could do it with her wings but again found it much easier without wings.
"Wow..." As she continued though she felt she was without something she now felt made her stronger.
Bugsy had merely taken a few steps back and crosses his arms across his chest.
Silvina then powered up to super saiyan 2 with her hair now golden once again then powered down as she landed.
Looking at her hand with the ring she looked at Bugsy who nodded.
She took it off for her to feel everything vampiric come straight back. She then looked at Bugsy as he kept smiling at her then got up and walked off.
"Wait! Bugsy..." Silvina said.
"I.... I asked Nayu a while ago about some decisions I made, I wonder if I'm still even good, can I ask you, since apparently you were there the whole time, do you think I'm the good guy?"
Bugsy turned to her and hugged her comfortingly.
"Silvina, how do you feel about being a good guy, do you feel like its the best or worst decision of your life?"
"I feel like at first it was just me experimenting, I had lost everything, my closest thing to having a family, now though, I feel like I've gotten something better, it may not be the best but its definitely not a horrible decision."
"If that is how you feel then do you think you are better off where you are now then there?"
Silvina thought then looked up at Bugsy.
"Bugsy, after what Zen did, I'm not sure."
"Just remember what you said, no one can change fate or destiny."
"But what about the future, what if I can... change back to being evil."
"Who knows, thats up to you."
Silvina looked up to him then nodded smiled.
"Your right, it is up to me, though, explain something for me."
"Nope, not going to answer your question of whether or not I'm the first ever Vampire Saiyan ^~^"
He then raised a blood pack which Silvina lept at his hand and took it out of his hand sinking her fangs into it glaring at him as he turned and left her.
"GET BACK HERE AND ANSWER MY QUESTION!" She said as she tried to go after him only for him to vanish. Frustrated Silvina walks off confused yet infuriated.